There is an obvious attraction to the path of least resistance...

....but I can.

So after marks' little fiasco the other day, I phoned an old friend. This is what I got.
"You're too far away. Your life is here. Why don't you just come home?"

He's not wrong. Though I have been gone since last year, I have the option of going back and sliding right back into a life I no longer want. My job awaits me if I so want it, and my friends still go for coffee to the same place, sit in the same seats, and discuss the same things.
This friend told me how everyone knows I'm not doing so well on my own. This startled me. Last weekend I got on a ferry on a whim and went to Vancouver. William and I saw galleries, museums, the city lights at night. We got caught in a downpour and found a little restaurant to wait it out in. We drank sake and watched the lightning.
The other day I scaled rocks, and when I thought I couldn't go any further, I sat and watched the ocean make waves that lapped up onto the same rocks where I sat.
I've done some of the purest cocaine you can find, and didn't let it ruin me.
I've lost the two people who raised me, who loved me most in the world, and I didn't let that ruin me either.
I've done things and seen things that most people my age will not experience for a long time yet, if ever.
Today, I do not regret any of it.
So how can he say that I'm not doing well?
Would I really be better off sitting in the same seat I occupied once upon a time, and wrapping myself in the same activities and conversations as I did when I was sixteen years old?
There is something bittersweet about it though. There are days I long for the comfort and familiarity of home. I think I understand now that is not the place, but the people that I miss. I met some amazing people there. Hidden treasures.
They say home is where the heart lies.
I followed my heart and it lead me here.
And I know, at least for now, here is where I will stay.